Saturday, February 14, 2015

My Love/Hate Relationship with Valentine's Day

Oh Valentine's Day...your back again so soon? I was so sure I'd avoided all unnecessary contact with you last year. But no, here you are again. Creeping along like a snake in murky waters, waiting to strike in that moment of distraction I call life.

I'm not sure how many of you folks are true hopeless romantics whom await this blessedly wretched holiday; I am sure there is a great reason that you do. I, on the other hand, loathe its very being. Yes, it's great to get flowers and chocolates from my wonderful husband. He has never forgotten me or made it unsavory. No, it's not because he sucks at romance (sometimes it's slightly askew to my definition). I simply hate it because it is a holiday of BULLSHIT. Yes I said it, it's all bullshit.

It used to be because my old boyfriend's sucked at it. Thus, why they are now ex-boyfriends. But then my husband came along. Problem solved right!? Wrong. The fairytale lie that having a significant other never guarantees perfect V-Day bliss. Sorry to burst that bubble.

Also, of all the things in the world, love shouldn't have to come down to a single day to be appreciated. I tell my husband I love him everyday. We work together as a team to raise our family and maintain our household. How is that not celebrating love? If we didn't love each other we wouldn't work so hard to make sure we both are happy and one of us isn't struggling, right?

But then something happens that fateful day, that February 14th...

The little Jane Austen in the back of my mind starts her wayward gossip. Suddenly the overly dramatic dialogue comes into play. We haven't been on a date night in a long time. Does he still think I'm special? God when did I start looking so haggard? Holy shit! Is that a pimple??? He has been on his phone forever this week, we've barely talked. When is he going to start looking at me like he wants...you know what? It never fails. That little saboteur starts all these little insecurities going off in my head and it always stems around this one horrid holiday.  You can't even go out anywhere without it being shoved in your face. I'm not even safe when making something for my daughter's CLASS! At least the Ninja Turtles cards were cute.

But then it does come. What should my husbandly knight in shining armor do for me? Eggs Benedict made early this morning. A fresh pot of coffee (if you want my love, start with caffeine). He kisses me gently as I hand over our son and bound back upstairs to give him the Valentine's Day card I forgot. I get the morning off of taking care of the kids. We relax to all the movies I had been dying to see that he rented for us, by the way if you haven't seen The Equalizer it's a fairly decent flick. He is now at the store to get the last items we needed for dinner while I am taking a reading break to finish off this post.


Honestly, V-Day isn't all that bad in retrospect. It all counts on how much you care for who your with and not the value of the gifts they give on this day. In all honesty, we haven't had many of these together in our 9 years of marriage. Deployments or training or whatever that would pull him away from being with us, he always sent flowers. He always remembered us. Not many people have someone like that in their lives.

So if anything maybe it's not so much a hatred for the holiday that I have, but more over the way that it's marketed these days. The high expectations displayed to the young, that love is only about how big the bouquet is or how expensive the gift is more importantly than the worth of the person who is thinking of you that burns me the most. If it was only about the bells and whistles, what is it really worth then? If it's about showing off to everyone only one day out of the whole year, is it really love? How strong is a love when it's only right in front of you to enjoy? How about when you can't be together? Is that love still strong enough to carry you?

It's worth the time to think about. Be thankful more for the everyday things. Hallmark will still make their money off the suckers who still haven't figured it out.

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!