Monday, May 6, 2013

Yay or Nay for Mommy Groups?


Now when I first became a SAHM  back in 2011, I was thrilled. I'd missed so much being a working Mom and I was ready to take my role on full force. But, I think I also had some delusions about what this major adjustment entailed. Especially socially...

I love my children more than anything, and being active in their lives is one of the best things in this world to me. Plus the benefit of getting the chores done before the weekend, awesome! Even being able to go outside and do things with them was even more fun for me than it was for them in the beginning. 

Not only was I feeling more like a mom, it was the biggest freedom I had ever experienced. I now controlled my own schedule. I wasn't rushing to day care anymore. No more deadlines and drama from work stressing me out and leaving me with minimal family time. No more traffic! And if you live in California, you know what I'm talking about.

However, after about six months or so, I started to get a little...well...lonely. I think even more so after my husband deployed.

My friends, of course, keep in touch. One of my long time girlfriends even lives only 5 minutes from us, but not everyone is always available. 

Going to the park, or on a walk, sometimes is just much more fun when you have someone over the age of 4 to talk to (and not scream at to stay out of everything). It doesn't hurt that the kids have someone around their own age to be friends with as well.

About 3 months ago my beautiful fellow SAHM Arlene came by with her kids and we sat down and talked as we usually do; it's the one honest to God break her and I both get some days. As we got to chatting she mentioned about joining a Mommy Group. I was very intrigued because I'd been debating this very concept for some time now. She told me about all the women she talked to and about some of the drama, something I wasn't surprised to hear. 

The more she described it the more I started to debate. Then she asked me if I'd like to join. I wasn't sure. 

Now I'm a pretty friendly person but over this past year I have been super self conscious about my social behavior around other Moms. I'm a little awkward, goofy, and sometimes I just don't know how to carry on conversations with total strangers when I get those "funny looks". I also despise drama! I like a simple life and  my family does not need to be brought into someone else's problems. 

Just from my few interactions at the park I have made friends with other Moms but nothing crazy. Just run in's and chit chat but nothing to the point where we are hanging out anywhere else.

I've also had some unpleasant and/or awkward encounters myself with other parents at the park. I've overheard comments and gotten stares because I have tattoos and piercings. Occasionally I also get the"know it all parent" who gets opinionated about the way I interact with my children, especially regarding discipline in public (i.e., time outs, talking to's, or if necessary a quick spank on the butt). 

Sometimes you just never know how people react but, I will not neglect or allow my child to get out of hand in a public area. If that means you don't approve or like how I raise my children, then go bite me. Apparently this just wasn't meant to be in the first place. Its one thing to disagree on parenting but I feel it shouldn't be the end all in any circumstance. Friends are friends, not sheep.

So now it's come down to searching and even debating if I want to just start my own group on Meetup. However, I don't want to exclude myself to a certain crowd. 

Well I guess either way, you have to get your feet wet some way, some how.

Are there any of you out there who are a part of or considered joining a Mom group? Let me know what you've experienced. I'd love to know.

Until next time...