Tuesday, May 14, 2013

A Time for Change

You know with all the craziness that life has to bring, apparently I've felt like I somehow made the VIP list. But, I also realize I'm not the only one out there that feels this way. Within these last few months it's been a challenge for me to get on this wonderful web and get those creative juices going. My whole will to write was pretty much down to a trickle.

When I first started the blog, we had just gotten news that my husband would be taking us to Japan with him. This would be one of our very first moves as a complete family. Even better news, we also found out we were having another baby! This would be the first child he would ever get to be here for the whole way through...

...or so we thought until things started happening...

We lost several people in our lives (may they rest in Heaven). Not one, but two of our family members received news that they had cancer, one for the third time now and it was terminal. Our youngest daughter had to go through surgery again, and it was going to be the same drastic procedure she had been through a year ago. Then the worst news of all...our orders were changed. Because the base in Japan did not have the needed healthcare providers that our daughter required for her follow ups, they denied her. Since she is little they couldn't have the family come and they told my husband he would have to ship out alone for a year instead of having his family with him for the full three years. Which also meant he would miss yet another baby as well.

To be honest this was a final nail. As a couple, we have talked about going to Japan together for years, even trying to get orders before we had our second child. He's also been living with the guilt of missing out on our girls for a few years now, and with another child to add to his guilt, I'm sure it's eating him alive.

We fought for 6 months to get the orders changed but the good old military "families come second" rule seemed to beat us every time. Eventually all our loop holes and hook ups ran out. Some even telling us that this wasn't worth the fight, the military is just not the same for families anymore unless you know bigger fish in the tank, so to speak. So, we eventually had to sit down with the kids and have the talk about Dad leaving again. The worst part was watching my husband. He was angry, sad, and mentally defeated. So was I. After 9 years of service, they couldn't even allow us three years to be together as a family.

What else could we do? It was time to adjust, which is one thing the Corps will teach you to do well after so long. I got our daughter enrolled in Kindergarten, we started preparing for the new baby, took our second to her doctor appointments, and started little by little mentally preparing ourselves like we would as if my husband was going on another deployment.

There was a lot going on and things pulling me one way or another. Blogging was slowly becoming a thing I'd just have to postpone to get things done that couldn't wait because we wanted my husband to feel included or had to be done because I just wouldn't be able to get to them without help.

Then the other day my girls were outside, enjoying the California summer heat in spring, when something finally hit me. I needed to sit down, think, refocus, and release all this stress. I don't think it took long before I realized I had already started somewhere that I could do this, THE BLOG!

So I've been researching, contacting, reading, and studying up on what I want to do with, well, this blog. Hopefully within the next month I will have relaunched a new personal blog that better describes me. It will also have more to do with what goes on as I now embark on raising our children and the things we'll be planning on sharing with not just the web but with my husband as he watches us from overseas.

I also really want say thank you to everyone who has already been following and supporting me. I hope what comes in the future will still be something you really like.

So keep an eye out for my new blog name and look, I think it's going to be quite amazing and full of the most important thing of all, LOVE!