Destined for Failure or Just Destined?

So who's got two thumbs and is up at 10:38pm doing laundry because the husband is sick and her four year old has far too much resilience? You got it, this Mom.

Actually that's a lie because I gave up on laundry to watch New Girl and blog instead. It was just funny that the last two episodes of the season happen to revolve around my two favorite characters of the show and their budding relationship. It also got me thinking back to the awkward beginnings of my relationship with my best friend who I now have called my husband for 8 years now.

To be honest, I can still remember our mutual coworkers and friends either trying to bring us together or determined to talk us out of it, much like the room mates Schmidt and Winston. Either one side was trying to convince us that things couldn't work out because we were too different from one another. But others said when we were together, they'd never seen two people so comfortable with one another. Was it destined or just destined for failure?


I worked with Brian for 3 years and every time I would get butterflies when he'd pay me some subtle compliment which was either just passive enough to intrigue thoughts of "maybe he likes me" but not too forward to convince me he wasn't just possibly being nice. I also did my fair share of flirting but kept it vague enough so as not to embarrass myself in case the feelings weren't mutual. Plus, I also kinda sorta had a boyfriend. A boyfriend that was always away at work or hanging at a bar but a boyfriend none the less. Even though I thought I was happy with this guy, I always found myself wondering about Brian too.

 Then came the day he told John (our other friend) and myself that he was quitting and joining the Marines. John and I couldn't believe it because not just two months prior we had all talked about becoming roommates. I also really didn't want him to go. He was my best friend, and we talked a lot in and out of work. I kinda felt like I was losing a lot, but we were supportive of him none the less. John and I even planned his last day party to see him off. Brian still had two months before he'd leave for boot camp.

Then one night, life handed me a curve ball I was most definitely not ready to catch. Brian, out of the blue asked me out... At first I wasn't quite understanding his question and thought it was just another invite to hang out with all of our friends, like any other night after work. However, he decided to be blunt and just tell me straight forward, "No, it'd be more of me asking you to go on a date." Needless to say, my heart about dropped out of my chest. No guy, ever, asked me out. Like ever! Not even my boyfriend or the boyfriend before him. And of course, like an idiot, I said..."I can't". *Facepalm*
Now, I know what your saying, I'm an idiot! But. it didn't just end with a "No". I explained that I wanted him to come by work the next day and I would explain why. I figured, if anything, he really deserved a good explanation why I would turn him down, plus he was like my best friend and was going to be leaving for boot camp in a few months. I couldn't just leave him wondering why.

So just as I had asked, he came to meet me at work the next day during my lunch break, and we talked. I had told him my last relationship before Mike (the guy I was seeing at the time) had ended badly. I had started seeing Mike before cutting things off with the other guy completely and it was a horrible experience to hurt someone that way, as well as the backlash I got from him and his friends. It was a four year relationship that completely failed in the last two years and before I could cut it clean I had started to move one without really giving myself time. Now the relationship I had been in with Mike was failing. I don't think I had really admitted it even to myself until that very moment. Brian understood and we still hung out after that day and talked, but then I started really thinking about it. I was 21 and feeling like now I had a chance to maybe take things into a direction that I hadn't though about before.

Fast forward  a week later, I dumped Mike. He didn't argue much or try and stop me. In a one hour face to face talk he didn't even try to convince me that he'd try harder, or be there more, or even tell me how serious he wanted to be. He just wanted to be comfortable and keep things as they were. Well as they were I also saw him once every two or three weeks and the last time we'd gone on a date alone had been months. So that was that. I went to work and tried not to cry during my shift. After I got off I sat in my car and called my friend Chrissy, balling my eyes out. Eventually driving from Glendale all the way to Temple City to cry more at her house. Then she finally convinced me it was OK and I did what was best for me. Now it was my turn to make up my mind.

The next day I was off and I called Brian after a day of crying more and having my brother trying to cheer me up with Clerks and other Silent Bob films.

Brian and I started hanging out more again after that night, which yes did eventually lead to a date. Then another date, and another. After two weeks we were practically together every night, with or without friends, talking even more and more than we had ever talked. It wasn't until his last week was up that the reality started to sink in that he was still leaving.

Then one night he said something to me that forever changed our relationship until this day, he told me, without a shred of doubt that he loved me. It was terrifying and incredible all at the same time. It was also be a moment I will never, ever forget.

The next week he was gone to boot camp.

I waited six months, forty plus some odd letters, three phone calls, and one visit in between for him to final graduate from the Marine Corps boot camp.

Now even after boot camp, we still had challenges. He was stationed up in Northern California for school. So we took turns driving every other weekend and holidays, the six to seven hours to see each other, for almost a year. Six months into school, he asked me to marry him. Let's just say the Corps isn't big on marriage. Even the counselor told us 85% of military marriages fail. We still got married  regardless of the nay saying and the stats they threw at us.

We married after his first year into the Corps. Three years after that we had our first daughter. Two years after our first our second was born. Now we are expecting our first son this September. We even bought a house, adopted three dogs.  We've also done three deployments, with another coming up.

This December will be our 8 year wedding anniversary, and I don't see our relationship ever straying from where it's been. Mostly because we know each other, we care about each other, and we talk just like we talked when we were still just friends.

So destined? Who knows...but it seems pretty good to me.

Nighty night guys and gals, I think I'm gonna go snuggle my poor sick guy and the munchkin is finally passed out. And I apologize if my writing is a little sloppy, it's because I'm too beat to edit this properly.